I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
