Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
God I need to hump something, right now.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
