My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
