I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
