So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
