Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
