He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
