well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I understand Curling. That high.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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