I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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