Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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