then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
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every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
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He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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