i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
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