well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
