I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
3pm strippers are depressing
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
