my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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