I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
