i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He did a backflip because drugs
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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