Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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