so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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