can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
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i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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