She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
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