from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
and i looked up. we had an audience...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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