could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
