singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
