He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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