You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
