she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT