You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.