I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
