I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.