He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.