This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
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Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
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then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.