i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize