Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
