I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
please don't ironically join a cult
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