Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
