we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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