I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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