it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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