do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
