She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
