i don't plan on having that self control this summer
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
