I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
