Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
well most of my day revolves around power hour
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
