my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize