i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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