Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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