dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
