i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
