Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
