my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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