Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize