I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
