I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
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Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
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When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
God I need to hump something, right now.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize