Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
