I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
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I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
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Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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