have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
