I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
