He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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