i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
