The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
BRING THE BAGELS
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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