im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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