...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize