hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
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im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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